And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
