I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This show inspires me to have sex in space
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
