i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
