Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you would pick up someone in the library
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
