just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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