I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
PANTIES FOUND
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