so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
