Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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