okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i now understand why vodka
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
