Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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