is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
