can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
