So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
