just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
