You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
