Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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