If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
