Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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