Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
