I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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