Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
