I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize