We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
