he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
