I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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