I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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