I hope mine doesn't look like that
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
