At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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