Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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