bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
