she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's never too late to be topless.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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