Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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