i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
