doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
