Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
