what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Drake has all the answers
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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