Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
