Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
