i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Pants are for mortals
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
