i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
