We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
