please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
