yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There are leaves in my underwear?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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