U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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