i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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