You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It's just like the Real World with babies
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
