People in love make me want to vomit
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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