I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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