She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
