Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He felt like a one man threesome
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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