Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
