My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
