My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
