i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You can't just leave with hair like that
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
