just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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