This beer is not sobering me up at all
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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