Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize