I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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