9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize