Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
