nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I party with great urgency now.
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