Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize