PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
