how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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